Are you lettuce or raspberries?
The garden is talking to me. It has an important business message for YOU!
We're in the middle of a serious drought. Yet without irrigation, my raspberries are bearing fruit.
The grass is yellow and the ground is cracking and crunching underfoot. Yet the burdock plants grow six inch long leaves overnight after getting cut down.
The new vegetable plants need to be watered twice a day to survive. Lettuce won't survive one day without water.
I know what you're thinking. What does that have to do with business?
Can Your Business Survive a Drought?
Do you want to know the secret of the raspberry patch? Of the burdock plants? And do you want to know why writers are lettuce? Take a walk with me in the garden and listen to our conversations.
Do you have a network or list that can survive this?
The Raspberries Talk to Me
Me: Hi raspberries! Thank you for the wonderful fruit today! Delicious! Keep up the good work. But hey, I want to know your secret.
(R) Raspberries: Hey Christiane. Glad you're enjoying the fruit. Here, take these. We did a really good job on these. Save a little for the birds though.
Me: Sure thing. But the secret! I want to know the secret!
R: Uh, what secret?
Me: Haven't you noticed it hasn't rained in four weeks?
R: So?
Me: And I haven't had enough water to give you!
R: We have plenty of water Christiane!
Me: Where are you getting it?
R: We have a very happy network of roots underground. They go deep and far, and we collaborate with mycorrhizae. We have a very intimate symbiotic relationship. They give us extra roots. Our networks look kind of like your doodles. We find water wherever it is!
Me: How do you know about my doodles?
R: We watch you through the window.
Me: Oh. Did you tell anyone else?
R: Well, we have a happy network underground. No telling who else knows.
Me: Oh dear.
Analysis of conversation: I think it's self explanatory, no? The first year I planted my raspberries, I had to water them. Shallow roots! It's all about roots and networks!
Be as tenacious as the burdock. Don't give up.
The Burdock Talks
(I know you want to know why writers are lettuce. Be patient okay?)
Me: Hi annoying burdock plant! I find you annoying on my lawn, but I admire your tenacity.
Burdock (B): Hi Christiane! We love to annoy you!
Me: I know. I can't get rid of you.
B: But you know we can give your immune system a boost right?
Me: I know, but after digging up your 18 inch root, I need an immune boost!
B: (laughing): You don't get it do you? Digging up the root boosts your immunity too. It's great exercise.
Me: (sigh) But it takes so long! And makes my muscles sore.
B: Don't your human docs say you need at least 20 minutes of exercise a day?
Me: How do you know that?
B: I can see the articles you read through the window.
Me: (Gasp) You're stalking me!
B: Now if I was stalking you, you could just jump outside and you wouldn't have to dig up my root. But as you can see, I'm solidly in the ground!
Me: I guess. Go ahead and stalk me. That would make things a lot easier.
B: (Robust laughter) You wish!
Me: So tell me your secret. How do you grow six inch leaves overnight? You seem like an immortal plant.
B: I am! We are! You can't kill us unless you eat our root, but you have to get every speck of it. If you miss a piece, we grow back just as fast.
Me: The secret the secret! Where are you getting the water to grow leaves?
B: That's easy. Our roots go deep, very deep. There's still water down there. Plenty for us!
Analysis of conversation: Your business needs deep roots!
And now, what you've been waiting for…
Why Writers are Lettuce
Me: So here's my lettuce patch.
Lettuce (L): Water! Water! Water! Water!
Me (watering lettuce): Here ya go. Can't you say anything else?
L: More water! More water! More water!
Me: Can't you grow long deep and networked roots like the burdock and the raspberries?
L: More water! More water! More water!
Me: Hello lettuce! Good morning. I just gave you water.
L: More water! More water! More water!
Analysis of conversation: Freelance writers are lettuce. (Come to think of it, other types of freelancers are too.) They are always looking for work, then more work — well, most writers. Some are burdock or raspberry plants. They have deep or networked roots, and have some kind of residual income. I dare say that some writers are like trees with very strong and deep, networked roots.
The lettuce freelancers produce the base of the salad. But then there are tomato freelancers. They still need to be watered every day, but they become the highlight of the salad.
I'm striving to be the highlight of the salad as I begin to create deep and networked roots. It's a lot of work at first to push those roots strategically in focused direction underground, connect with and form symbiotic relationships with other businesses, to strengthen the base of my business.
It looks like nothing is happening sometimes. But the garden reminds me that there is something happening underground. The evidence eventually peeks its head up out of the earth.
That's when someone shouts: "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!!!"
That's the sound of an entrepreneur who just experienced the manifestation of her diligence.
So don't give up!
Keep working and learning from those who are successful! Push those roots deeper. If you're working hard and learning from the pros, you're almost there!
So, what kind of freelancer are you? Please tell!
Christiane
(This is the silliest thing I've ever posted online. But silly helps us learn. If you just want to know the grammar rule about when to use "that" and "which," skip to The Rule below.)
Sing your way to grammar success!
While you're reading this blog, why not listen to Waltzing Matilda by the fireside?
Go ahead, click on the video link. You'll soon learn why! And read on…
Seems some folks have complained that my facebook grammar quiz makes their heads spin. I think I know why. It's that big red X in their past. We've all gotten at least one humiliating mark in our lives, now haven't we? Anyway, moving on…
I tell my students that the best way in the whole world to remember something is to make a mistake first! So in my world a mistake is a good thing. But if no one tells you, how can you learn? So here's the formula: (1) make a mistake; (2) someone points it out and explains it in a way you can understand; (3) you have a light bulb "aha!" moment!
So Go Ahead and Make Grammar Mistakes!
A Wombat Story to the Tune of Waltzing Matilda
What cool lyrics! From my research, it's one of those old songs that keeps evolving and no one really knows what it's about. I mean who writes like this anymore!
Okay, enough of that. On to grammar!
So here was the first version of my grammar quiz: [Feel free to skip all the way to "The Rule" if it's just grammar you want…]
Ariana Parolini-SIsti noticed that some other people had gathered in line but were too afraid to dive in. She was the first brave soul to step out. She submitted this:
Then Sharon Cobb came along and gave it a whirl:
Warning! If you're a fourth grader looking for true scientific information about bombadier beetles or wombats, please go back to Google. This is a true grammar blog, but has very silly science!
Easier but More Clever Version of Quiz:
I had to try a second version to help the more fearful participate. Here it is:
Wanna play my grammar quiz? The wombats got into the lavender field. There's a whole family in there! I've tried everything, but to no avail. Can you help give me advice? They've even made friends with my rott. (The rules were similar except I gave the option of using either that or which. I asked for fictional advice.)
Here are the suggestions I received to solve my farming problem:
Deb Turton:
Oh dear!!! I have only one solution for this burrowing situation which is obviously causing total havoc in the lavender field!! Sing to them, yes in the key of F, sing Waltzing Matilda, bring in two harmonies during the chorus and you will surely have them following you directly to their chariot that awaits them at the bottom of the garden.
Then Tara Yvonne Chatzaki came up with a great solution to the wombat issue.
The Rule
The rule is you should use that with restrictive clauses and which with non-restrictive clauses. Also, the which clause should be surrounded by commas (at beginning and end of clause). Now don't panic. I have to post the rule!
The Easiest Way to Remember!
Use that to give information that is essential to the meaning. To test, remove the word that and what goes after it (the clause). If the meaning of the sentence changes, you've got the correct word!
My sentence is a good example. If I remove that is essential to the meaning, my sentence will state a totally different rule. It would read: "Use that to give information. See how that last sentence wouldn't help you at all in this case?
Use "which" when giving extra information. The words in the clause that begins with which tells us something interesting, but removing it does not change the meaning.
For example, take Sharon Cobb's contribution: The Bombardier Beetle is not only crazy looking but also releases spit "bombs" which can put your eye out!
Keep in mind now, that her sentence should be scientifically incorrect. Let's pretend she's writing a very important field guide. If you remove the clause that begins with which, the field guide will be missing crucial information important to the safety of the reader (if it was true of course). So I'm afraid we'll have to say this sentence should use the word that instead.
Let me try making a which sentence out of Sharon's information.
The Bombadier Beetle, which is crazy looking, also releases spit "bombs" that can put your eye out!
There, I did it, and it shows you something else too. Usually, there are commas around the which phrase. You could just as easily write it this way: The Bombadier Beetle (which is crazy looking) also releases spit "bombs" that can put your eye out!
Ariana's Sentences
(1) Bombardier beetles are ground beetles that can be found all over the world.
If we remove the phrase that begins with that, the meaning of the sentence will change.
(2) Bombardier beetles have a unique system of defense; a combination of two liquids, which are stored in a reservoir, that mix together and become a hot and noxious fume sprayed at predators when threatened
Let's test sentence number 2 and remove first the phrase that begins with which:
Bombardier beetles have a unique system of defense; a combination of two liquids that mix together and become a hot and noxious fume sprayed at predators when threatened.
That works. Good work Ariana!
Let's try the same test and remove the phrase that begins with that:
Bombardier beetles have a unique system of defense; a combination of two liquids, which are stored in a reservoir.
This most definitely changes the meaning of the sentence. The phrase we removed completes the explanation of the unique system of defense. Without it, we have no idea how the liquids are utilized in the insect's defense.
Watch for future grammar quizzes on facebook, designed to allow the learner to make creative grammar errors. You might just inspire the next blog!
Thanks to all brave sentence submitters. I honor your mistakes and my mistakes. Here's to learning everyday!
(Besides, your mistakes just might be tomorrow's rule.)
So go ahead, make a grammar mistake below. If possible, identify it! But don't worry if you can't. Another poster can do it — or I might. 🙂
Christiane
I write. I edit. I tutor. I laugh.
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